Ups and Downs

It's been awhile since I posted and many, many things have happened. Snow covers my little part of this world and hides everything beneath it with a clean white blanket. In some ways my own desires tend to hide what lurks under the seemingly clean surface.
I spent some time looking for a sub experience in SL. I found it, and what seemed like a good connection at the time. Warning flags were raised soon after though, and my too-quick-to-click subby side caused a lot or worry and hurt feelings. I offer my apologies to any that got involved in that mess. I only hope the ripples are past.

I'm going to focus more on my Domme side in SL. Miss Shi is needed there by many. I have things to show them, hands to hold and hugs to give. Leave no doubt that Miss Evil is alive (undead?) and well and can still find the things you hide. I consider it my privilege to bring them out and play with them, expose and mold them, and set you free in my chains.
A select (very) few will still have access to my sub side. Those that I trust I trust implicitly, if I allow you to take my control away I hope you run with it for awhile.

RL mirrors SL again. I've been asked to give a presentation at Estate Obscure on Sub Drop. I spent last night with a couple I have known for a long time (RL), but haven't seen for a few years. They are the ones that introduced me to Lee. I was asked to 'entertain' them for the evening, and I was more than willing. Many hours were spent in some strict ties and some very complete leather bondage. I was teased and tormented, but never allowed to..well, you know. My close friends will know that this is something I crave, and I went home late in the evening feeling floaty and quite thrilled by my experience.
...then I spent two hours crying my eyes out and trying to figure out "what the hell is wrong with me". Not a good ending to an otherwise thrilling experience.

Sub Drop is sneaky. When you're in it's clutches it's very hard to realize it. I wouldn't call myself an expert on it, but I've been in that state many times in the past. In my early years of experimenting with self bondage I dropped nearly every time. I think other things influenced last night's episode and added to the stress and depression, but I've got it sorted out for now. A late night call to a dear friend, and the consumption of comfort food seems to have snapped me out of the worst of it.
If you're wondering if I'd repeat last night. knowing that I'd drop hard, the answer is yes. I'm an addict to my own endorphins and will never give that up.