Miss Evil's Oubliette

Circles

2011-02-06T13:57:00.001-08:00

When I began my exploration into SL I was adamant that I would never be collared nor would I offer anyone a collar. How wrong I was. I followed along behind my first partner and saw that devotion and love both have a meaning in this virtual world. Later I would be offered a collar by a tenderhearted girl with the best of intentions, shortly after that I would wear the collar of a wonderful woman for nearly a year.

During that year I gained the love of many sisters. Each one very different, but each just as caring and devoted, not only to our Mistress, but to each other as well. Those relationships seem to endure the strongest of all.

I've collared four of my own thus far, though two have since moved on. Four wonderful people with deep heart and wonderful minds. I love them all and will care deeply for everyone of them always.

I've passed my third rezday recently. Two that were thought lost to SL returned at nearly the same time. Many tears of joy were shed for relationships renewed, including mine. Though I learned much from both of them in the past, their absence taught my heart to be harder and more careful.

The words of someone who was once close to me echo in my mind lately.

"These things do hurt us."

Whispered from afar

2010-10-22T22:48:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday dear girl. I hope your wishes come true.

Celebration

2010-07-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

The shine of happy days flood out the dark shadows of those we've lost. Life is for the living they say, I suppose SL is for those in it.

My dear Sister who has seen me through the dark and guided me in the days is finding her happiness at last. None deserve it more. Collared to Miss Alt, and soon to be partnered with Tiff, she glows with an inner light that is brighter than ever.
As always her joy is contagious.

To update: I've released Casey though we remain in love.
Tania has given me all that hasn't been claimed by others. She's very special to me and has opened my eyes in new ways.

An ending before things End

2010-04-13T16:03:00.001-07:00

Seems my blog has a lot of depressing content.

I've been staring at an empty field for a bit now, unsure how to begin this entry.

I've released my Darling. The lovely girl that defined Mistress Shibari. She and I walked a path together and have become very close. We share things that bridge beyond SL.
It was time. With summer coming my RL will only get more hectic, my time in SL more sporadic.

Eniper is lost to me as well. Again, time comes between us.

I still have Casey to walk with me. She's a divine treasure without compare.

They say time heals all wounds. Does that include the ones it inflicts?

An ending before things End

2010-04-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

..and Downs

2010-01-10T06:32:00.000-08:00

**Warning**
*Depressing Content*

The harder you hold the more slips from your hand. For a long time in SL terms I've fought to hold onto someone very dear and special. No, not just in SL terms, for it's been more than a year and that's a long time to hold onto hope. I struggled with long separations and never knowing if I'd see her again. I drove poor Tot to distraction with my need for reassurance. Dear Pet was always there to help me hold on. Wonderful little Aki commiserated with my loss.

It's over now. Time to gather up the pieces and move on. I won't say never again, but don't bother asking me for any sort of commitment for a while.

I had nearly made the decision to end it myself many times, but I'm a dedicated person, I tend to hold on to the bitter end. There's a lesson here: Bitter Ends suck for everyone involved.

So I offer this to you Faye: I've gone from loss to hurt to anger and back again. Had I known you felt pushed by me I'd have left you long ago. I'm sorry you've felt the need to hide from me. My intentions were never to cause you pain, but only offer support and love with nothing asked for in return. Obviously I didn't make that very clear to you.

'I'm sorry' is a phrase I don't like to hear or use. It's far to easily said and conveys next to nothing. It's an empty statement, but emptiness is all you've left me with.

I'm sorry Faye.

Ups and Downs

2010-01-10T06:03:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I posted and many, many things have happened. Snow covers my little part of this world and hides everything beneath it with a clean white blanket. In some ways my own desires tend to hide what lurks under the seemingly clean surface.
I spent some time looking for a sub experience in SL. I found it, and what seemed like a good connection at the time. Warning flags were raised soon after though, and my too-quick-to-click subby side caused a lot or worry and hurt feelings. I offer my apologies to any that got involved in that mess. I only hope the ripples are past.

I'm going to focus more on my Domme side in SL. Miss Shi is needed there by many. I have things to show them, hands to hold and hugs to give. Leave no doubt that Miss Evil is alive (undead?) and well and can still find the things you hide. I consider it my privilege to bring them out and play with them, expose and mold them, and set you free in my chains.
A select (very) few will still have access to my sub side. Those that I trust I trust implicitly, if I allow you to take my control away I hope you run with it for awhile.

RL mirrors SL again. I've been asked to give a presentation at Estate Obscure on Sub Drop. I spent last night with a couple I have known for a long time (RL), but haven't seen for a few years. They are the ones that introduced me to Lee. I was asked to 'entertain' them for the evening, and I was more than willing. Many hours were spent in some strict ties and some very complete leather bondage. I was teased and tormented, but never allowed to..well, you know. My close friends will know that this is something I crave, and I went home late in the evening feeling floaty and quite thrilled by my experience.
...then I spent two hours crying my eyes out and trying to figure out "what the hell is wrong with me". Not a good ending to an otherwise thrilling experience.

Sub Drop is sneaky. When you're in it's clutches it's very hard to realize it. I wouldn't call myself an expert on it, but I've been in that state many times in the past. In my early years of experimenting with self bondage I dropped nearly every time. I think other things influenced last night's episode and added to the stress and depression, but I've got it sorted out for now. A late night call to a dear friend, and the consumption of comfort food seems to have snapped me out of the worst of it.
If you're wondering if I'd repeat last night. knowing that I'd drop hard, the answer is yes. I'm an addict to my own endorphins and will never give that up.

I have tomorrow off

2009-11-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

Someone out there knows why, but I'm not saying who. My libido has been up a bit these last few days and it's time to do something about it.

After twenty minutes of smoothing and stretching my favorite backzip catsuit is finally ready to be zipped. There's a trick to doing it alone, and it involves a bent coat hanger and a bit of flexibility. Around my waist I've locked a length of chain, the end of which passes between my legs to be locked in back. It's tight enough that it won't slip past my hips, and later my wrists will be locked to each side with leather cuffs. Another chain wraps around my body, crosses between my breasts and around again. With a lock in front and back each time I take a deep breath it squeezes my breasts tightly. This chain is a bit long so the extra gets locked to the crotch chain in back, pulling it up into my sex. The suit has gloves and feet, and over the later I have added four inch pumps with locking ankle straps. A short chain between leather ankle cuffs ensures I'll be taking tiny steps until morning. Later I'll manage to get my elbows cuffed as close together as I can so my hands can't reach my crotch, but before the final lock snaps shut I'll add a leather panel gag with a phallus between my teeth. All will remain in place for several hours, determined by a program called Safelock, with a devious random setting. I'm fairly certain that I've chosen a setting that begins at four hours, but may last as long as twelve.

The safety call has been made, everything is in place, and my tummy is full of butterflies. There are not many things more exciting than this...

Absolute Trust

2009-10-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

After she had given me some instructions for preparing myself and I had followed them, Lee looked me in the eyes and simply said "this time we go deeper". Of course I was thrilled and scared, but little did I know the depths she had intended.

A remote egg went inside me and was held there with latex panties. Matching bra and stockings and then opera length gloves over ordinary latex exam gloves as well. My favorite catsuit soon covered more of me. This one is a backzip with both gloves and feet attached. I've mentioned that I love layers so I was already enjoying myself. Lee wrapped my hands with black stretchy bondage tape (the kind that isn't sticky) making me feel a bit helpless, and she was just beginning.

The tube of the inflatable hood went between my teeth next, and the hood zipped and pumped up firm. I think these hoods looks rather silly, but with my eyes and ears covered with padding the tightness of the thing makes it quite effective.

My torso was wrapped next with layers of pallet wrap and cling film. She wrapped under my arms, then had me fold them beneath my breasts and wrapped them tightly to my body, continuing down to just above my knees. While I could still waddle about she led me to a low table and helped me to lie down where she finished the wrap over my legs and feet. This would have been about the most complete mummification I had experienced yet, but she wasn't done yet.

Under me, on the table Lee had her leather sleepsack. I had spent many nights in it back when she would loan it to a couple I used to play with, so I knew what she was doing as soon as I felt the zipper closing me in, though I could barely hear it. It has buckles too and of course she used them, and then secured the whole package to the table with straps as well, one of which was on my forehead keeping my head immobile.

Bondage is very close to sex for me, and I could feel the wetness spreading under the first layer. My sex was driving me crazy with an incredible desire for attention that I knew it wasn't going to get. I lay still for a while, and slowly began squirming, testing my very limited range of movement. Lee must have been watching me, at some point she turned on the egg that was deep within. At first I didn't know what it was, my mind a blur and my sex already a mass of over-excited nerve endings. I let out a gurgling moan when the vibrations hit me though, and I heard Lee faintly laughing somewhere outside of my tiny prison.

I came repeatedly then, waves hitting me over and over for what seemed like days, but probably was several minutes. The egg stopped for a little while and I caught my breath. It was just enough of a break for me to begin realizing the depth of trouble I was in, when she covered the tube that was my only source of air. There was no way I could safeword, even if I had wanted to, and Lee and I had agreed that we would no longer use them. For a few heartbeats I lay perfectly still. Then I tried to suck in air only to feel the hood pull down tighter over my face. Terror. I tried to jerk my head away, but the straps held me and all I could to was tremble. I could hear her voise then, telling me to lie still. When I did finally did the egg started up again inside me and the tube was opened. Cool air rushed into me as another orgasm struck, this one like a hammer to my midsection. I saw stars, whether from the rush of oxygen or the orgasm, or maybe both.

This pattern of deprivation, panic, the egg and her allowing me breath went on for some time. Lee later told me she'd never pushed a scene like this as far before. My life in her hands, with no way out except by her will. An extremely emotional, terrifying and dangerous place to be. All I know is when Lee at last finished unwrapping me my tummy felt like I had been punched and my loins were still having muscle spasms. My jaw hurt for hours, probably from biting on the plastic tube that had been between my teeth.

I lay on Lee's lap, still in latex, after that for awhile, drifting in peace, shaking now and then, tears being wiped away by the gentle fingers of my tormentor. Later we would talk into the night, sharing each other's company like only those that know and accept each other's dark secrets can.

The way you do...

2009-10-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

I keep listening to the same CD over and over. I'm sure I'm not the only one that can find a meaning in a song. Something the songwriter says that just clicks into place and you say, wow, how did she know that it feels like that for me too. But this entire CD is haunting me. Especially a couple of songs. I'm talking about Devil Doll, or Colleen Duffy. The CD is The Return of Eve.

Nearly every word of her song The Way You Do I can apply to my relationship with Lee. The way she watches my eyes all through a scene, or even when we eat dinner together, Colleen seems to know about it. How Lee is on my mind all the time, again Colleen has been there. I don't need to mention how my body reacts with just the thought of Lee because she says it in the song. Let's get dressed up and make a mess? Anyone who knows me knows I have a fetish for latex. The lyric that begins with "my legs are crossed", well, I'm not getting into that too deeply.

Another song, this one titled Sweet Lorraine makes me cry. I can't figure out how my sister's life got into those song lyrics, but there it is.

Tortured is another one that sometimes brings tears. I think of someone I miss deeply in SL. I know it's not "real" but I still love her and miss her always.

With the decision yet to make with Lee, I keep hearing Lord's Prayer in my head. I'm not sure that is a good omen.

No, I still haven't decided whether or not I'll be a lost soul, or if I'll belong to someone else.

There are trips and there are Trips

2009-09-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

Another drive down to Indy left me feeling some severe subdrop today. Lee did what was probably the most intense scene we've had so far. I don't feel up to sharing the details yet, maybe not ever. Basically it involved several layers of mummification (the first of plastic wrap left me quite helpless) followed by very real and very scary breath control. She has an inflatable latex hood that has a tube in the mouth.
Lee and I don't use safewords anymore. It's a recent addition to our relationship so it still comes as a shock when I get scared and realize there's no way out; no panic button, I just have to trust.

Trust is a hard commodity to come by when all you can focus on is your next breath and hope it comes soon. The blood-rush pounding in my ears drowned out any semblance of rational thought altogether.

Obviously my trust was well placed in Lee, because I'm still here. I trust her, I love her and I want to drown myself in her personality.

She's offered me a position as a live in girl for one year. With small exceptions there would be no time of my own. As far as my personal life goes I can make it work, except for my sister (RL) and her family. They are all I have and I don't like the thought of not being there for them if they need me. As of now I haven't made the decision, but I'm still leaning towards declining this incredible opportunity.

One consideration that haunts me is..will *I* come back home after the year is up?

My dear sister Tot put words to what Lee has done to me.. Mindf*cked..

How it should be done.

2009-09-10T13:38:00.000-07:00

Last night's little encounter with a "real life" domme at the Estate has been on my mind all day. Before you say "now Shi, don't worry about her" never fear, worried I am not. At least not by that belligerent ass.
If I'm worried it's about the juxtaposition between SL and RL BDSM.
My own role as a Domme in SL is perhaps somewhat different that the norm. I try to provide the things my girls need to open up and explore their darker desires, by strong persuasion rather than brute force. In RL I tend towards the sub role more than anything. I've played both roles, if you've read here before you know I'm a switch and happily so.
My RL relationship with Lee is probably the rough outline I use to write my SL scenes from. She's a kind, strong, and willing to listen. Never shocked by anything you show an interest in, and more than willing to see you through most any experience. Sometimes much to my dismay, at least at first. ;)
But there are those dominants out there, male and female, that belittle and humiliate their subs in every situation. I always picture a drill Sergeant when I see or hear of that type.
Don't get me wrong, I know there are subs, and slaves (the two terms mean different things to me) that desperately crave this kind of attention. To them I say "more power to you sister". To each their own, or to borrow a phrase from a book I'm reading, Love as thou wilt.

What does this have to do with SL? We bring into SL one of two things: Experience, or fantasy. It's really that simple. Either you are really a nine foot tall lycan, or you fantasise about being one. Either way, in SL, you are that thing, that character, no matter what you are in RL.

My point is this: Fantasy should not be dictated by actual experience, rather experience should be sprinkled with a bit of fantasy to keep it interesting.

I've come a long way 'round to get to the real meat of this entry. In BDSM, be it fantasy or reality, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Yes, I know, safe, sane and consensual. All that means is, if you break your toys you won't have them to play with. (And I won't let you use mine either)

So enjoy what you do. If you have people willing to do it with you, then you're doing something right. If they kneel at your feet, you just might be good at it too.

Table for One

2009-08-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning with Lee started with her waking me and slipping a thin leather collar around my neck. This would be pretty much all I wore that day...

She keeps an office in one room of the building where her studio is. It's decorated what I assume is a Victorian style (my tastes in furniture tend more to the simplistic). Next to the lovely desk which held her laptop was a small cushion. She led me into the room and yes, ala' every SL submissive, I knelt on the cushion. But this was actually happening, and I couldn't help but giggle about it. I'm not sure if her irritation was feigned or real, but either way she buckled a ballgag in to keep me quiet while she tended her email.
Strangely, I really was quite content to sit with her for awhile, just being there beside a woman I knew cared deeply and still was willing to do to me all that I needed.

It was probably an hour or so later when she finished, closed the laptop and turned to me with a smile. A blindfold of soft leather joined the ballgag and I was lead to the dining room, on up onto the table. Much to my delight (I AM a bondage slut after all ;) ) I was soon tied with my wrists behind my head and lashed to a shoulder harness. My ankles were secures up to my thighs, leaving me spread open. Several more ropes fastened me to the table's legs ensuring I wouldn't squirm my way off and hurt myself. I drifted for a bit while she was doing her ropework on me, bondage has been described like an unending embrace from your lover when done well. Lee does it well, and I came back to awareness when she pulled a chair out and sat at the end of the table opposite to the way me head was pointing. (Between my legs, if that wasn't clear) What followed was an exquisite blend of teasing and fulfilling sexual torment. Several toys were tried on me, as well as.. other ways.. She never spoke through the entire episode and I wasn't told to ask for my orgasms. As has become almost normal for my time with Lee, I lost track of time again. When I slipped back inside my head her hands were caressing my upturned rear gently, coaxing me back to reality.

I heard her footsteps cross the room then, followed by soft applause.... From behind me still...
Someone else was there, and I never knew who, or what part they played in the entire scene.

Another of Lee's gifts...

Joy returns to me

2009-08-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

Long ago, in SL terms, I proposed to her. Ironically I did it from a dance pole in a prison club. She was to be my Mistress then, as well as my Partner. Life happened and things have changed. If you've followed my blog you already know that I no longer desire a Mistress.

Friday night the time was finally right. Faye and I talked for a long time, making sure that we both had the same thing in mind.

She made me the happiest I've been in a long, long time, for Faye and I are Partnered at last! Faye honored me with the gift of her submission as well.

Thank you my Love, my Dearest, my sub and my Partner. I will love you always, and all ways.

Whew!

2009-08-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, I made it back from Indy. It's been about five days (I traveled most of the day Wednesday) and I'm still floating. The bruises are fading, the welts are gone, my nipples aren't quite so sensitive and the sore spots left in my mouth from the ball gag have finally gone away.

I'm not going into full details now. If you're curious leave me a reply and I'll answer questions if I can. Suffice it to say that it was a mind boggling rush of an experience that I would do again everyday, but realistically, there's no way..

Indy Trip

2009-08-06T05:38:00.000-07:00

Three or four times a year I take a vacation from.. well.. from reality, in a way. I drive nearly eight hours, one way, to see a woman that I trust my life with, though I don't even know her real name. Lee has kept her studio from her days as a professional Dominatrix. She no longer sees new clients, but has a set of favorites. I came to her late in her career, introduced through some mutual friends that own a lake house near my own home. She calls me about once a month and we talk girl talk mostly, but when I go to her, it's all Domme/sub.

I'm going to see her this weekend and staying for a few days. We've talked about what I'd like to experience, what limits I am comfortable with letting her push, and ideas that she might like to try. In the past I've spent the entire time with her in bondage, served horderves at a fetish party (in full latex!) modelled different ties, I've even been made into a table on which people set their drinks during a dinner party.

I say that we talk about my limits, but I trust her so much now that I no longer really have any. She can easily pick up on my interest in things. I've told friends before that I have to be careful of what I look at in her studio for fear that she will use *it* on me.

Pain has been a limit for me for awhile. Nipple clamps (and clamps in general) I enjoy, but I never wanted to be whipped or beaten, things like that. Last winter I let Lee flog me. She used all sorts of different floggers and explained the difference between them and how they are different from whips, canes and the like. It was terrified, and so excited through the entire experience that my orgasm took me totally by surprise. After it was over Lee cuddled me closer than she ever has, and actually cried with me. An understanding bond that I've never been aware of being possible.

We play with some very strong emotions when we are involved in BDSM. The vanilla world and the posers who think they are "kinky" because it seems to be trendy now just can't make the leap from pain to pleasure. There is no other way to reach those plateaus without enduring the torment and intense stimulation that a gifted domminant can take you to.

Let them giggle at the things we do, and we will pity them for their unknowing loss. I'm going to Indy.

Joy and Sorrow and Heart Breaking Pain

2009-08-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

Bad things happen to good people. We all know it, and hate it for being so. Like a Greek tragedy though we're compelled by it, and follow the story waiting for the happy ending that may not come.

A loss in the family is never easy, but is the pain tempered by knowing the sacrifice was that of a hero?

Evil perpetrated on an innocent soul cloaked as love, leads to enlightenment and knowledge uncommon to one's peers. An even trade?

When one needs, actually needs to be with another yet is forced out of contact, will the heart truly grow fonder with the absence?

Illness shadowing a kind and gentle person, yet love grows stronger between those that share the burdens.

There are unending examples, and some of those that read this blog will recognise one or two these personally.

But to those I love I offer this: Life does go on, and Joy can be found again.

I am living proof.

Old Age and New Experience

2009-07-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

Things were quiet when I logged in today, so I took a little time to start building a new deck on the house. Out of the sky falls a girl, wearing cuffs and a collar, and a skimpy little dress. Odd as that sounds, it's not unheard of in Lochme, the sim I live in.
At first I was a little annoyed, as she was obviously a newbie. A glance at her mostly empty profile showed that she was almost a year old though, so I deemed her "perma-noob" and got ready to ask her to leave. Then she said to me, "can you help?" Now, I may be evil, but I am not mean, so I asked her what she needed, and of course waited for a reply, because perma-noobs always talk slow...
It seems the poor dear couldn't see names or location, or teleport. I checked her restraints quickly, but they were all unlocked. After messing about for awhile I finally determined that she's worn a relay at some point and coached her through removing it, viola', issue solved.
I talked with her for a bit, but I really wasn't in the mood for a scene with a subbie I didn't know, so she went her way and thanked me for my time.

This whole thing got me to thinking. We all were new once. What is it the kept some of us coming back, and how is that we aren't perma-noobs too?

I've met basically two kinds of people that remain in SL a long time. Geeks and writers. Yes, I said geek.. But it's true, it's those people that have been the backbone of SL since it was new.
And the writers, or the creative wordsmiths, have nurtured culture and ideas within the framework.

So the next newbie you meet, take the time and be nice. I know most of us are.

We were all new once.

Insight out of the past

2009-07-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

Last summer I got the wild idea to claim a plot on the Playa of Burning Life. If you don't know what that is google Burning Man. Burning Life is the SL equivalent, and I won't go into details about it here. You just need to know that it was a way to deal with having too much SL time and needing a creative outlet. I had the help of two of my sisters, Shae and Sharie, without whom it would never have happened. Ru and Tot gave me tons and tons of pictures to use, and De was there almost everyday to play hostess with me. Many more deserve thanks as well.
But I digress.. The plot right next to mine was claimed by a Brit. She had a display about some silly idea involving peace through tea, of all things.. (I'm teasing Anna) I guess you need to know that my display was the only one involving BDSM and SL. (There may have been others, but no one ever found one that I heard about) And poor Anna had the fortune, or misfortune to get as her neighbor a bunch of latex clad females that were tied up half of the time. Long story shortened, Anna came to me privately and confessed an interest in BDSM, and indeed she and I explored some things together. I won't reveal any more as she is a very private person and I hope she forgives me for saying this much.
Anna and I drifted apart, as often happens in SL, for whatever reasons. But last night out of the blue (and oddly enough I had been thinking about her that day) she IM's me. We talk a bit, exchanging pleasantries the way the Brits do. I invited her to Ash's new home for a visit and to show off my darling girl as well. (She's quite the decorator btw). Anna invited us to see her island home, so we went for a visit there as well. I have to admit that even though it is very tiny, it's relaxing and pleasant.
When it was time to go I got the feeling Anna had more to say. I remember from BL that she's not the kind to talk openly unless she's comfortable with her surroundings and assured of privacy, so I sent Ash home and probed Anna a bit. Surprisingly she seemed to be more concerned about me than I would have thought. She asked how I was doing after leaving Ru, commented on how hard giving up the collar can be for everyone. She wondered how my sisters were doing, and asked how the Domme life was treating me.
Anna asked if I was putting the needs of my girls before my own. My answer flowed out of me easily, because it's the truth and the way I feel. Yes, I am, but in so doing their needs become my own. I feel.. no, I become satisfied, and joyful when they get what they need from me.

But the one thing that really surprised me.. that made me stop and really think..

She asked if my own needs weren't just as important as theirs..

Grabbing the Tail by the Tiger.

2009-06-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

As elusive as submission has been for me in the past few months I was somewhat shocked by my desire for it a few nights ago. I'm not the sort to wander sims with keys hanging out to be grabbed. There is one person I will call upon once in awhile, but she was busy at the time.

Dressed in my favorite latex and wearing cuffs and a gag I stayed safely in my sanctuary, contemplating self bondage but not willing to risk the letdown that can bring. For some odd reason I remembered a place I used to frequent. I've only rarely seen anyone there, though it is a public spot dedicated to bondage. Kimiko's used to be my "home" before I actually had one in SL. It was a place I could go to rez new items and experiment with them.
I even recently purchased an isolation chamber to replace the one that used to be there when I was new. Of course there was no one there when I tp'd in.
Just for fun I took a picture of me next to the Iso chamber and sent it to the person that owned the one from before. She is a Domme that would come to me once in awhile when she needed to submit. Alas, she was offline..

I'm not exactly sure why, but I saw another name on my friend's list that caught my interest. She was a recent addition, and one I didn't know that well, but I sent her that same picture. Soon she arrived, out of curiosity I think because she knew me only as a Domme.

What followed was a night of whirlwind intensity for me. Somehow I trusted her right away, and she found the hidden things within me that needed to come out. I was taken dancing, something I enjoy in SL, though she took me bound and gagged, and even stripped me on the dance floor in front of a room full of strangers (but her friends). Public humiliation is not something I can take very often, but I guess the need to be controlled and used as a plaything was strong.
Later she took me to a sim where I have a Domme title. Still naked and bound she gave me a relay to keep me from leaving the sim and restrict me in other ways. She left me there for the night. I hate to admit it, but the experience was what I needed and left me in quite an aroused state. "You've got it bad Miss" she teased, and she was exactly right.

I'm not going to tell you who this mystery person is, but suffice it to say I "got even" with her and she added my name to her collar tonight. No, I didn't take on another sub, just the demonic part of one that needs me from time to time..

The next day my darling Ash came to my rescue and I snapped right back to my Domme role without a second thought. It is who I am now, I just needed a short vacation.

Roses Among Thorns

2009-06-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

If you stay at Estate Obscure long enough you'll meet the wonderful little Aki. She's a doll hiding a wicked imagination and creativity that rivals anyone I know. She's not just about role play though. She's an accomplished builder and scripter as well as an artist. She's there to help her friends with most anything. She'll also tease you mercilessly by sending you erotic artwork :)

Silias is another that I've just recently met at the Estate. With this one it's her pale skin and shockingly blue hair (not to mention the long tail) that grabs your attention. She's a demon out of disguise, but I have some experience with those feral creatures. I hope to explore this one a bit further soon.

I met a sweet girl at Pandora's a few nights back. She innocently goes by the name Summer, but under shocking pink tresses lurks a soul addicted to pain and being made to feel it. Punishment scenes are not my big thing, but tormenting a painslut that helplessly orgasms when I snap the crop in *just* the right place is irresistible.

I get lucky every so often and SL drops another treasure in my lap. So many already, Ashelia, Eniper, all of my Sisters, Idoru, Rayn, Angie and Shae, Alex, more than I can possibly list. If I missed you don't feel slighted. It's late and I'm tired ;)

Do me a favor though, if you find one of these special people, give them a hug and tell them that Shi loves them dearly. I'll owe you one.

Lost

2009-06-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

Faye..

Of timing and experience.

2009-06-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned Eniper before here, and by now some of you know why I wasn't posting anything. Eni reads this blog sometimes and if she had any insight on what I was thinking at the time, I would have failed.
Eni and I met so long ago in SL. She's been wandering, searching for the right person to take hold of her. I made a half hearted attempt quite some time ago, but failed. Neither of us were ready at the time.
Recent events brought us back together, and the timing was right. She ran from me like a scared rabbit, more than once, but each time I tracked her down (with help from great friends, thank you all!) and slowly took away her fear and resistance. It wasn't easy for either of us. She feared that I would give in, and I feared that I would push too hard.
I told her, about half way through, that it was she that made me stronger. My knowing that she needed me to be strong, to be the one to take "it" away from her, made me capable of doing it. I've loved Eni for a long time, and I hope to continue getting even closer to her, now as not only her friend, but as her Mistress.
My darling Ashelia counseled me, and helped me with some of the SL tools I seem to be out of touch with (feeling my avatar's age..) and indeed, had a say in whether or not I would make Eni her sister. Ash is my first, and to her I owe a great deal. Not only for her ideas and skills, but without her willingness to accept a clumsy Mistress, I never would have had the confidence.

Stay tuned

2009-06-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a bit since my last blog, but bear with me. Something special is happening and I don't want to give it away just yet!

Reshaping

2009-05-31T21:20:00.001-07:00

Those of you close to me, this is a warning. Pick up your toes lest they be stepped upon. I love you all but this is my blog and you read my thoughts at your own risk.

I have to remember that changes come in cascades. When one thing changes (me) it has a tumble down effect on everything around it (you). Of course the effect is cumulative, each change creates another change add infinitum.

Yes it was my RL birthday yesterday. Thank you all very much for remembering me, I'm truly touched and made happy by your love. However, I am Domme now, please show me some respect and put the paddles away. So I'm a spoilsport, I'm sorry. (Yes, there was more than one occurrence.)

In my RL there isn't allot of gift exchange going on. It's just who my family is and we all are fine with it. If I seem unappreciative please, please don't think that I am. I just don't know how to say thank you properly.

I know I made commitments, maybe promises in the past that perhaps I never fulfilled. I know I was supposed to take you shopping. The time..no..the relationship was never right. Seeing you wearing it tonight upset me. I guess I'm sorry for the lost opportunity.

I wonder why I even wrote this blog entry. Most will not get the references, and those that do won't know the real reason behind what I wrote. Rest assured, my intent is not to cast blame or hurt.

A word about jealously. I've told some that I don't understand jealousy. It might be a character flaw, or maybe I hide it from myself. Take my word though, I don't get that feeling.

Support Structure

2009-05-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Win's comment on my last entry along with a talk I had with Alt has made me aware that I am not alone. What is it with Banishment that takes the sub out of some of us? Is the change a lasting one? I'm still quite happy with the "new me", but are the rest of those that have changed as happy? I'm seriously considering starting a support group.

Ash and I had a strong scene together today. My RL weekend had been quite a mess, limiting our time together. I think we made up for it though. After the scene had ended, during our cuddle time, she wanted to know what it was about "all of this" that I enjoyed most. My answer didn't take much consideration. I find that what I really enjoy is giving other's what they need. I'm not trying to sound like a martyr here mind you, I do indeed get something in return. It's the power exchange. It's become almost cliche', but it does happen. And the more I learn about a select few individuals the more gratifying and yes, sexually exciting, it becomes.
This isn't a new thing for me. I am a switch and have had some wonderful scenes as a top before, but recently the level of power being exchanged seems to have increased. I'm certain that my relationship with Ash has heightened that to no small degree, and it's happening with others as well.

Flashing back to my first point though, can I expect this to last? Better question; how can I make sure that it does?

An Ending, a Beginning

2009-05-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

I was wrong. Banishment was not the hardest thing in SL. Telling Ru that didn't want to wear the collar anymore is far worse. But it was time, and now I will move on. I'm still part of her family. I hope we don't drift apart, but perhaps we will, little by little. Even if that does happen I know I will always be loved by them, by Her.

To my sisters and friends that are just learning of this here, I apologize. Ru and I will make an announcement, but I needed to blog this while the emotions are still wreaking havoc within me.

It should come as no surprise that Ashelia has been submissive to me for awhile now. She offered me her collar and I took it, making her mine. She and I match quite well. I met her.. kidnapped really, at Ralf's one day. I put her and two other girls through a test, making them search blindfolded. She showed both spirit and charm and put a spell on me right then. Ever since I have enjoyed learning with her and even just talking. I hope to be the Mistress she needs. I certainly will try to pass along everything Ru has taught me.

A New Day Dawns

2009-05-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

And with it come changes. Submissive Shi is all but gone. Domme Shi is opening like a new rose. Is this a permanent change? Isn't the phrase "permanent change" an oxymoron anyhow? I didn't see this coming. Hindsight being 20/20 perhaps I should have. Playing the dominant role has gotten more and more fulfilling, while finding happiness as a sub has become elusive.

I keep looking at the above paragraph and rereading it, wondering who it may hurt, who it may shock. Idoru, to be sure will be affected by it. I don't know what this change will cause in our relationship. But then I read it again and I know that there are some that will be made happy by this change in direction.

Am I all Domme now? I hardly think so. I'll continue to test my limits and myself. Once a switch always a switch I think. A dear friend told me only today that she came to SL never expecting to be collared, yet now she is. I had to smile. Back when Shibari was younger she said almost the same thing. Those close to me will remember "never to own or be owned".

We change, it cannot be helped. We can only strive to make those changes for the better.

As a side note, I have been getting some feedback from this blog. Thank you to all who have left comments and to those that have pulled me aside to tell me your thoughts within SL. Alt especially, for your sharing of a sunset with a lonely bane caused ripples in my pond that have made me a very happy person.

After Action Report

2009-05-22T19:58:00.001-07:00

Yes I'm free of the Custodian, the helmet and the banesuit. But am I free of S-5876?
If you are considering Banishment (and I speak of the Kelly Technologies program because that's the one I know about) make sure you think about it carefully. If you take roleplay seriously, and you get yourself into your AV, then Banishment will effect you. And I mean YOU, not your AV. IT also has effects on those close to you. They will hurt, be lonely, be worried and afraid for you. You have to be prepared to deal with them as well. Of course, it would help if they were prepared to deal with all of the relationship chaos you are about to drag them through, but then it might dilute the experience. I said it before though, if you test your friends, they will fail.

So there are after effects to deal with. Shibari is shy, scared to get too close to people. She's more comfortable when there is some distance between her and the people around her, and she doesn't want her back to the wall. Is this RP? Yes, of course, but I RP what feels right to me.

Someone asked me if I would do it again.. I can't honestly answer that, at least not right now. It's is the single most powerful thing I have done in SL, and I don't see a way t top it.

For those of you that read the story, no, I didn't find my Eudaemon. I'm not disappointed though. I know it doesn't always happen, and I know that I didn't spend nearly enough time as a bane for it to even start.

So now I will rebuild Shibari's broken Id, and learn from it. Hopefully I will be asked to be an Operator myself, but we'll see.

Freedom?

2009-05-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

My Operator summons me and I comply. I'm afraid to upset her as much as I am afraid of her. She's not alone, but she doesn't turn off the Custodian. Something feels wrong and I am very scared. Win plays with her controller and something clicks inside my helmet. She attaches the vox and tells me that my sentence is nearly up, but that I have incurred some infractions since my last weekly update. Infractions that could lead to more time. Inside my head I am shrieking, torn between tackling her and running away. I think had it been just a few weeks ago I would have done one or the other, but maybe being a Bane has taught me some self control. I just stand there, mute and staring. I can see her making some calculations. Then she smiles at me, but it's not a pleasant smile. She informs me that I should have about one more week (4 hours of SL time). Struggling hard with myself I keep calm, say nothing. Then with a wicked laugh she unlocks the helmet and cool air, real air washes over my skin for the first time in so long. I'm free, or soon will be!

*Fast forward*

Back at my home Jesse and Ashelia are waiting for me. Their kind intentions to hold me and comfort me are so hard to take. All I want to do is run away and hide, run back to that park and cower in my corner.

Later, so many people. All are happy to see me, and I am happy to be with them again too, but it's so intense that I have to stay away. I know they are worried but I can't comfort them, I can barely speak at all.

I'll be fine.. I'll be me again, soon I think...

Cruelty

2009-05-21T05:01:00.000-07:00

I knew it was a mistake as soon as I tried to make contact. But I had to try, I thought that any contact with a human would be better than this isolation. I even thought I had an excuse. I'm still certain that the bitch...the Custodian.. made a mistake, a malfunction. Why else would I be forced to do maintenance twice in the same day, within hours.
So I did what I had been told to do only in an emergency. I contacted my Operator. Right from the start I knew she was mad. She berated me even before she hooked the vox up to the helmet, before I could even plead my case. Once I could speak again I stuttered and stammered through my excuse. I could see that it was making her more and more angry with me. I'm not human, therefor just another annoyance to her busy day.
She didn't care what I had to say. She ignored my fear and simply, in a cool and professional tone, told me I was going to be punished for contacting her. Without even looking at the control box that she carries she touched a series of buttons. Suddenly I can barely see. My world looks like a poorly tuned in TV show from the days of antennas. Static we used to call it, and now it's my entire world.
Before I can even beg for mercy she rips the vox from me and physically shoves me out into the street again. As I run away I hear her reset the Custodian, making me unable to approach humans again. I'm quite sure I can hear her laughing too, though that may be my imagination. Imagined or not, I know I'm not like her, I'm not human. I'm something less. I am S-5876, a bane.

The Perils of a Creative Mind

2009-05-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

What is second life?

A game? A glorified chat room? A new form of interaction? A commercial venture to separate you from your money?

I think it's something else. I think it's a way to express ourselves. Some more than others of course, and there is certainly a learning curve. A lot of people into SL are geeks. I don't mean that as an insult, just an observation. You need to have computer skills to deal with the myriad quirks that SL sends you. It's a technology in it's infancy, so only the tech savvy and the doggedly determined stay with it long enough to become addicted. I fall somewhere in between those two definitions.

Somehow SL sneaks up on me. I'm never prepared for it, even when I think I am. This Banishment has been like that even before I committed to it.
Tonight my Sister Kat5 came to see me. I expected a hug, maybe even a pounce. She completely blindsided me by dropping roses at my feet. I had to make myself walk away. I was in tears, warm, blubbery salty tears.

Real ones...

Thank you Kat for covering my world in roses.

Custodian of my Torment

2009-05-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

One again I let my desperation for human interaction get the better of me. Sitting in my corner of the park (I call it mine, but I have no claim, nor anyone to fight for it) I watch as a muscular young woman goes jogging by. Her long dark hair streams behind her in an unkempt tangle. Suddenly she sees me and stops and walks up to me, until I jump up and begin to walk away. She calls to me "stop, I won't hurt you", sure, I've heard that before.
Soon another woman joins her. This one I think I know. She's taller, almost willowy, long red hair like mine. My hand comes up against cold plastic of it's own volition and I'm startled. I did have hair. I dare to listen to them talking. Both are sentenced to Banishment. Both think waiting is a punishment. Both are very wrong.
I walk away for awhile, but can't help coming back again. I overhear the shorter one saying that her owner has told her to accept banishment. Her owner is curios about the long term effects. Her owner should be left in a shallow grave. I run up to her, violently shake my head, point to myself, to her, frantically. Pointless I'm sure, but I had to do something.
Walking away I return to my corner to cry. Unshed tears still hurt.
I don't get very far before the bitch screams at me, shocking me and sending waves of pain through my entire being. I've stayed too close to the humans again and the bitch is punishing me. It's so unfair. The only thing my numb skin feels is pain, and then only occasionally. Even the pain isn't real though. It's all in my head, what a wonderful thought!

Later, soon after another humiliating maintainence, dear Tot appears. She's a welcome sight, but a painful one. I think she recognises me, though maybe not at first. She talks to me anyhow, so I risk pain again and stay close, hoping she doesn't notice when the bitch starts in again, hoping she will stay. More people arrive, the redhead from before, I know her now, Edie. The Iza and Pet. Soon they leave me and I only have the bitch in my head to keep me company.

How I hate that bitch....

She hits me like a freight train with waves of vertigo so strong I can barely stand. Her hated voice shreiking inside my head, demanding that I seek maintainence immediately. I was just there! Malfunction.. it must be.. But I have no choice but to walk, and crawl my way back to the shed and submit again. All I can think of, when I can think at all through the pain and nausea, is what if it doesn't satisfy her, what if she just keeps torturing me? What if this never ends?

Lessons Learned

2009-05-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

Peace and quiet are far overrated
Sitting in the grass is only fun when you have someone to do it with, or something to read
Darkness is my friend
Listening to conversations hurts
Humiliation is better than intense vertigo
No matter how much you love them, stay away
Kelley Technologies, Inc. is a soulless monster
Inhumane does not apply to Banes
People are cruel to those they say they love....

In the meantime.

2009-05-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

Last night, ok most of the day yesterday I was reading the Eudaemon story while my Bane-self sat in the park. Every few minutes I switched back to check on things. I was on a long time, having planned my RL day around this event in SL.
Jesse had asked me to stop reading the story at a certain point back when she was a Bane. She wanted a part of the story to be a surprise for me I think. Only, I delayed doing it myself for such a long time, that I had forgotten most of it anyhow. So, after my processing I went back and read the entire thing, front to back.
It's not a story for everyone. It's erotic in places, very dark in others. When Winter is born there is this feeling of shock, then of joy as I put myself in Katrina's place, for Winter knows all about Katrina, she feels everything that Katrina feels.
When Winter tells Katrina :I love you: I broke down in tears. At the part where Winter offers to let Katrina see her skin again, then decides that Katrina would be... not exactly happier.. there's no good word for it, if she didn't, I was lost in a dream of my own for awhile. I suppose Winter decides that Katrina enjoys the feeling of being helplessly covered by the black skin, but cannot admit it even to herself. Winter however, knows. So Katrina asks "will you remove it if I ask you to?" and Winter refuses. I think my own body reacted in a fashion similar to what Katrina's would have, if only for a moment.
At the birth of Firefly I had to stop for awhile and just cry. I don't know why it made me so very happy, but the tears flowed freely for a few minutes.
I won't spoil the ending for any that might decide to read it. But what was written follows the storey well and indeed the ending is justifiable to all of the characters.

Alone

2009-05-19T14:48:00.000-07:00

Time passes, I know it does, but looking through the mask of my Bane helmet forces each day to blend in with the next. The Custodian scares me. It's hollow voice is all I hear, even the voices of people that I know are translated into it's monotone.
This is insane, no one should be so alone even when people surround them. No one should be have the humiliation of "maintenance" forced upon them by a machine.
A machine.. implanted within my own brain, growing there, learning everything about me. One fear overcomes another and I sit and sob, though I can't even hear that. The Custodian instructs me, tells me to go to the maintainence station. I ignore it, why bother. Soon pain explodes in my head, so intense that my stomach turns. I'd be puking my guts out if there were anything in them. So I make my way across the park, into the complex of buildings and into the tiny shed so I can be maintained.
A week has passed. I only know this because that impersonal bitch inside my skull informs me that I have not incurred any penalties. Of course I haven't. If I stay too long near people she yells at me so I run away. I know I'm not allowed in buildings, so I sleep on the ground. I can't get penalties, I have to get out of this.

More time passes, not yet another week because the bitch hasn't said a word to me, besides making me go to the shed.
Two women walk up on me. One tall, lithe and carrying some sort of bow. The other is shorter, rather curvy and wearing slave silks. I dare to listen for awhile. The slave is curious about me. More likely about my condition. She's willing to endure banishment for her Mistress. She's insane and I want to scream at her, I want to tackle the so-called-Mistress and grind her smug face in the dirt for being so cruel. Of course I can do nothing, not even warn the girl, so I walk away. Maybe I'll see her again, in a Banesuit, but how will I recognise her?
Pet... oh my dear Pet.. She's come to find me. I hope she knows that the black figure nearby is her sister. She needs me, I can see her tears. I want so badly to comfort her, to take her in my arms and calm her the way I did so long ago. But I dare not, I know the bitch is watching me and she will punish me. Cruel bitch, how I hate you.
Movement startles me, but Pet doesn't see it. A dim shape in the bushes. Somehow he is tricking my eyes and I don't think Pet can see him at all. A Bane-basher, I know it. He's waiting for Pet to go so no one can see him perpetrate evil on another helpless bane. I move away but he follows. Desperately I point to him, hoping Pet can see him. She can't, and worse, another is waiting for me, not far away. I do the only thing I can and run. Poor Pet, she probably thinks I ran away from her... I'm so sorry sister.

S-5876

2009-05-18T12:23:00.000-07:00

The decision took nearly a year. Permission from Mistress almost as long. Understanding from my friends and family...Pending.

Why did I allow myself to be turned into this thing? For the experience, sure, as a test of my own self, that too. To see who would notice that I was gone. No. A wise person told me once that if you test your friends they will always fail. I know my friends, I choose who I allow close to me very carefully. They were there before, they will be there after, I know that. Of course I have a lot of guilt over doing this insanely selfish thing, and thereby causing them anguish.

So far the worst part of banishment has been the wait for it to happen. There seem to be only a few Operators in my timezone, so I had to wait for one in Europe. Finally though, it has happened. Bane S-5876 walked out into daylight today. I'm not going to give away any details. If you want to know, sign up and experience it.

What I will do is give you some insight into my feelings during and after the processing. WinthorpeFoghorn Zinneman is my Operator. She knows her business and I must say is one of the more creative and well spoken people I have met thus far. I originally met her more than a year ago in SH, where she gave me my first lesson in struggling out of RR ropes. I hadn't seen her in many months and we have never been close, but learning that it would be Win who would process me was a relief, as I knew she would do it right.

Win was polite at first, calling me Miss hobble and taking great care to reassure and help me. She answered my questions and calmed my worries. Later though, she became agitated when I asked her about the section in the handbook that seemed to have been removed. She did manage to calm herself, though I noted a bit of anger in her after that. She steadily became more and more distant, less caring. By the time I was sealed into the confines of latex and plastic it was quite clear that I had become an object to her, a job. When I was able to stand again I felt so small and insignificant. Win is extremely tall, but I've become accustomed to tall women over time as Mistress is one of the tallest in SL. No, my feeling of being tiny was from attitude, and from knowing that I was no longer in control of my fate. Indeed not even Win is in full control of me now. Instead, a tiny device feeding off the latent energy of my own brain now holds my fate in its hands. If such a cold and impersonal THING such as a Custodian can be said to have hands, because it certainly has no emotion.

Now, released to walk alone I can't even hear my own voice. I feel a great fear that the feminine voice of the Custodian will become longed for, even desired. My fantasies involving latex are at least in part to blame for bringing me to this. Once I was free of the operator and alone I tested my confines. The thick, more than skin tight layer covers me, and whether some part of the compound, or if the Custodian has that much control over me, I cannot feel enough through it to attain any sort of stimulation. Anguish and despair, my fantasies have come true and torture me.

As hard as I try I cannot get this helmet off. Again, I wonder if it's the device itself, or another insidious trick of the Custodian. Maybe I only think it's still on...

PS, Some things I have already found to be a problem.

I should have set SL to auto-open notes, as I think I missed an important one already.
Walking seems glitchy.
Despite the relative rarity of Banes these days, there are still some that hunt them...

Everything that has a beginning...

2009-05-18T11:26:00.001-07:00

At the suggestion of my two most loyal friends I have begun a blog. Since I have decided to go through with Marine Kelly's Bane Program they think it would be wise if I were to document the experience. The thought had occurred to be before as a large part of my decision was made from reading my sister Jesse's blog on the very subject.

But I'm not going to start right off with the Banishment, which began earlier today. Rather, a bit about myself, just in case someone is curious.

Shibari Hobble. I chose my name for a reason. In RL I must hide who I am, at least in part. I'm sure it's true for most of us involved in BDSM at least in some way. With Shibari, there's no hiding what my interests are. If you know what the word means, you're likely to click my profile where you're going to find out that " The first thing you should know is that I'm a basically well adjusted-somewhat "normal" person with some strange interests."
Yes, I'm into fetish clothing, I like to tie and be tied up, I'm a bit of a sadomasochist and I really, really enjoy domination. There, all out in the open, right from the start. No dancing around it, no denial.

I was brought into SL by an online friend with a mutual interest in chastity belts. She and I never did much together on SL, but I am grateful to her for introducing me to it and helping me get a start. Along the way I have met some wonderful people. Some I cherish and have managed to keep close, some left right away, and some have simply faded. It's one of those things about Sl that you just have to deal with somehow, or else you'll quickly tire of it.

Early in my Second Life I met Shae Thatcher. Undoubtedly one of the single best people in either RL or SL. Together with her partner Angie they have held my hand and made things ok, when they really didn't seem like they were.
My SL would have ceased long ago without my dear Sister Tot Corrigible. She possesses a heart of purest gold and it shines through in her devilish but oh-so-sweet nature. Wise beyond my comprehension she is an old soul that enriches any life it touches.
Idoru Ryba... what can I say about my Mistress? She's the One. It's cliche' but it happens to be true in her case. My Mistress, my Love, my Friend. How she pulls off all three at the same time I don't understand, but I strive to in hopes of becoming a better person myself.

This is the beginning of my blog, and as such I don't intend it as a list of the myriads of people that I have grown so fond of. I hope you know who you all are, and how much you mean to me.

Some of the experience that have shaped Shi into the creature she is now deserve at least a brief mention here. Not necessarily in any order, here are a few:

Discovery of Stonehaven and Realrestraints. I must admit that I am proud to have known SH in it's old location, even if only briefly. Dirk's playground is where I cut my teeth in SL. About the same time I stumbled upon RR and things went wild from there.
Yasmin Heartsdale. Still and always loved by me, this kind hearted wicked Huntress of SH taught me so much about SL and indeed, about relationships.
Pandora's Box Prison. Though I eventually "outgrew" the place I will always enjoy all the people I interacted with there, both as a prisoner and for a far longer time as a guard.
Rayn Halpint. The annoying little minx turned dear sweet friend. Now a ghost in SL, I still value her above so many.
Eni. My dear sweet Eni that time itself steals away from me. How cruel timezones can be.
Faye, my lover. I can't list here all the things Faye has made me feel. To try would make my heart swell with joy and break with pain.
Lochme and Sunset Beach Retreat, where I live. Thank you Sharie, it means more than you know.

Enough for now of my reminiscences. All things must begin somewhere.